My darkest hour

Last week was a bad week for COSMOSIS. at times i came close to questioning my faith in filmmaking and definitly my faith in this university and its students and so called "staff". i already knew that I am the only student who truly beleives in pushing the boundrys of cinema but I had no idea that there are people who actually want to DESTROY my visions and art. Jealousy no doubt. jealousy and apeathy and stupidness, basically what society is today. first off my so called "crew" try to shit all over my vision when we were supposed to be filming the final parts of COSMOSIS they were rude disrespectfull and stupid, nothing I cant handle, but then they have the absolute nerve to walk out on ME. thats right THEY walked out on ME. cheeky bastards they were lucky I didnt fire THEM!!!!!! The documentary crew were there that day but they definitly wont be making there documentary now because they didnt capture me the way i shoud of been, the documentary was supposed to inspire you all but instead it will depress you at the depths that people will sink to to destroy art. plus the documentary people would probably edit it so that it looks like I was to blame because theyve got it in for me asswell so you can forget about the documentary.

Anyway to add insult to injury the next day I had to show COSMOSIS as a work in progress to Su and HUw for a summative assessment and they laughed all the way through it. thats right LAUGHED. obviously i didnt expect them to understand all the deep philosophic issues and i knew that they wouldnt be able to accept my radical techniqes but i really was absoulutely disgusted by how rude and stupid and closed minded they were, they were so bad that they even had me questioning my own talents as a film maker. thats right ME questioning my own TALENTS as a FILMMAKWER. 

obviously as soon as i left the room i remembered that there just part of the system and it is there job to make sure that radical talent and visions like mine are crushed before their preciouse system crumbles under there feet. obviously this just made me more determind to make COSMOSIS the best film ive ever made so that i can laugh in THEIR faces. 

I realise now that i cant rely on anyone but myself. although last week was my darkest week it is also my best week because now that i will have to finish COSMOSIS without my so called "crew" it will be much better becasue they wont be around to fuch it up and i will be free to innotvate cinematic language in order to fully manifestate my vision. i dont need a crew. I dont need actors, I dont need tutors, i dont need a university. I just need me and the infinite possibilitys of my mind

thank you